God's divine lottery

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Human beings...were all such tidy fucking people. We make plans and put things and ideas into tidy little boxes marked OUR LIFE EXPECTATIONS, without ever asking God what his plans are. We prioritize and organize thinking were bettering ourselves and bring ourselves closer to perfection. What happens if God doesn't want that for us? I don't know where I'm going with this and I don't understand. Why do people die without growing up? Why do they not have the opportunity to make their own tidy little boxes and set out futures for themselves. Why are some of us lucky? Is this some sort of divine lottery? RIP Ewan, I will miss you and I love you and I don't understand. Maybe I'm not supposed to

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